As I was doing my devotional today, this sentence jumped off the page: “Then it hit me. The things that kept me awake at night were the things that I wasn’t trusting God to handle. I was holding onto them, ruminating over them, trying to find a way to gain control over them, to solve all my problems, to plan for every contingency.”
Talk about a slap in the face. Since March I am sure all of us have had trouble sleeping. Things are uncertain. Things are different. Things are just weird.
I’m a hard worker but I have worked harder in the last three months then I think I ever have. Or at least I feel that way. I know it’s because of the uncertainty and as we plan things change. It is hard to plan for the future when the future is so unknown. But, it is not unknown to God. He wants us to trust. He wants us to surrender every day. He knows what is ahead.
God has been preparing me for my new job journey for longer than I know. It started before all of the uncertainty. When I knew it was a possibility, He ministered to my with with a Ryan Stevenson song- WITH LIFTED HANDS. Part of the lyrics read:
With every heartbeat in my chest
Lord, I surrender all that I have
The days yet to come, the days in the past
I’m giving You all I am
With lifted hands, with lifted hands
When I heard this, I was on the treadmill. Running. What I do. Listening to Him while pounding away. God said to me – your days ahead are mine and it will be okay. He asked me to surrender. I did. Or so I thought.
And now, He is leading the way to the new job and new reality. The new normal – somewhere. Somewhere scary. Somewhere keeping me up at night. Which led me to today’s devotional.
If I’m up at night worrying, I haven’t surrendered. I’m trying to control the situation instead of trusting Him. Who knows.
Then, today, I heard yet another song by Ryan Stevenson before reading the devotional and it also spoke to me. I think God is trying to send me a message. There are too many God-winks for Him not to be yelling at me. (I guess I’m a little hard headed.)
In the sing ALWAYS BEEN YOU- It says, LEAD ME TO A PLACE WHERE SURRENDER NEVER ENDS…
So put me in the fight
That I know I can’t win
And lead me to the place
Where surrender never ends
Jesus, I don’t want the glory
I’ve got nothing left to prove
‘Cause the hero of my story
Has always been You
In January, when I knew God was working on my job, I asked God to lead me. I told Him I would follow. I asked for His will. I said put me in coach, and He did.
He has definitely put me in the fight and this fight requires me to be on my knees daily. I cannot do it without him. If I try it will beat me down. I won’t let it!
Thankful He opened my eyes and praying He will get my attention daily as I start the day on my knees.
Lord, you have led me to a place where surrender should NEVER end. Help keep me in tune to you!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 NIV
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms 139:23-24 NIV
“I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”
Psalms 34:4 NIV
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
1 Peter 5:7 NIV
Always Been You
With Lifted Hands
2 responses to “The things that keep me up at night…”
Thanks, right on as usual.
Thanks Tricia for sharing. I enjoyed reading and had a couple of laughs-not about what you had written but what I was reminded about that has happened to me in my life. Let me say this, that most of the time I do not have a problem with sleep. He wants to hear our voice——our faith & trust in him will give use peace, comfort & REST. Dad Romans 8:28