My last post was December 31. Since then I have been struggling…struggling to workout in any way! Struggling with eating properly! Struggling with doubt, frustration and fear! I am being very transparent here…why? Because the struggle is real and I know it is real for others as well.
Failure is what I have felt! Knowing all along God can help me through. We all go through these times. Sometimes it is easy to get up and other times it is not!
We also boast of our troubles, because we know that trouble produces endurance, endurance brings God’s approval, and his approval creates hope. – Romans 5:4 (GNTD)
I have not run since December 12. Today is February 10. That is almost 2 months ago! Since then I have worked out a total of 5 times – one being today. 3 of the 5 times my muscles became so sore it scared me. I know sore. I know pain. This was pain. It scared me to the point I finally went to the doctor today. (Will have results in 2 weeks…but feeling hope!) I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that pushed my body to the total limit in the months of October, November and December. Now, I am truly feeling the effects. And I have let the effects get me down…even knowing that He chose me!
I brought you from the ends of the earth; I called you from its farthest cornersand said to you, ‘You are my servant.’ I did not reject you, but chose you. – Isaiah 41:9 (GNTD)
Feeling like I am a failure is so wrong. I know that. It hit me hard as I worked out today in my Blessings room. I was surrounded. Surrounded by numerous representations of success. Success that was given to me through God’s blessings and strength.
I looked around the room after I finished my spinning workout and short strength workout. It started to truly sink in…God has truly blessed me with so many opportunities to move and move for Him.
I have allowed myself to get down when this should have just been a time of recovery and restoration. Instead, I allowed it to be a time of excuses since I wasn’t moving. This is where the eating took a nose dive. The excuses became easy. It was the holidays, I just ran 3 marathons…and on and on. 🙂 No more! Believe! Believe in it!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way. – Proverbs 3:5-6 (GNTD)
Be determined and confident. Do not be afraid of them. Your God, the Lord himself, will be with you. He will not fail you or abandon you. – Deuteronomy 31:6 (GNTD)
I am determined to get it right and do it right for Him. The struggle is real and on-going. I will believe in HIM and keep moving forward to make sure I am on track for Him using the body He gave me. He has proven His hand over and over again. It is my job to turn to Him in all areas and ask for help, do my part, and allow Him to do His. Thankful for His grace and mercy for all the times I fall and He is there to catch me and help me get back up! I have to work! I have proven I can. I will again! The struggle is real….but so is our God!
Currently walking blessed!